Welcome

Hello! Welcome to my new blog. I'm so glad you stopped by and hope you will follow me on my journey to become a better me.

I have done a lot of thinking the last few days and have realized that I am depressed. I have struggled with depression a lot in my life for various reasons, which will not be delved into in such a public forum, but most recently I fell back into depression after Laela was born... PPD (post-partum depression)... which was also accompanied by a strong case of PPA (post-partum anxiety). These two illnesses have been affecting my life the past year and I really want to get a handle on them.

I am also going through quite a trial right now... a trail that I wouldn't wish on anyone. This trial is incredibly draining emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, and physically.

My trail, accompanied by my PPD and PPA have made for a long and exhausting year, but I need to make some changes. I don't play with Laela or enjoy my days with her to their fullest. I don't take pride in my work anymore. I haven't been keeping in touch with my family and close friends. I haven't been taking care of my body, inside or out. I haven't been taking care of my home. And, probably the most important, I haven't been taking care of my spirit.

I have decided to take myself on a journey to find that JOY that is spoken of in the scriptures. Heavenly Father tells us repeatedly to test him, to allow him to prove to us that he keeps his promises... and that is exactly what I am going to do.

I do not have a plan, which I know I need to develop, but it's coming along in my head. I will share it as it evolves. What I do know is that I am going to desperately try to start new and positive habits which in turn will not only make me a better person, but will lift me from my depression and allow me to find JOY... JOY even in the midst of trial.

This coming week my goal is to make sure that I read my scriptures at least ten minutes every day, and work out at least 4 times. I will be sure to check in and report my progress. Not only is this to keep me accountable to those (whoever you may be) that will be following my journey, but also so that I may have a journal of my struggles and triumphs. I want Laela to be able to read this one day and see that no matter what happens in life, that there is always a way back UP... there is always a way to find JOY.