so those who know me, know that i have a very BIG heart... VERY big...
i feel love for just about everyone and everything (especially furry things) around me...
however, i have come to the very hard conclusion that THAT love doesn't transfer itself to me...
i have realized that i push those who mean the most to me away, because i expect them to wake up and leave me someday anyways... that way, when they leave it was because i wanted them to (hence the pushing away)
cool defense mechanism right?
so very wrong
so as i embark on this new journey in my life... new marriage, new state, new job, new friends... i am also embarking on project "love karly"
i would say that the majority of my self-loathing comes from being overweight and spending too much money on things i don't need (like mcdonalds... it's too much money and it makes me fat... two birds with one stone!)
now, i am not telling you this because i need lots of compliments and pep-talks, i am telling you this because the people who actually read this are people that love me and are people i can divulge my innermost turmoils to without judgement. so, i don't need you to pat me on the back, but i would love comments that give me advice on how to start this project... how did you come to love yourself for you... because i need some help, and i can't afford a shrink!