Monday, December 27, 2010

Day 18-Plans/dreams/goals you have

So of my 320 evaluations for my 320 students (yes i have to write one individually for each child) i have 60 left, and i must take a break before i throw my computer across the room. so here is my break... a new blog! :) kendra, one of my very best friends from BYU, said to get back on it when i saw her on Christmas, so here we go. baby is due in 15 days (weird) so i need to hurry and finish this or it will never happen!

so day 18... plans, dreams, and goals... wow have those changed over the years. when i was like 5 i wanted to be a cheerleader/nurse

...when i was 17 i wanted to go to BYU, get married my freshman year, pop out lots of babies, and live in utah forever

...when that didn't happen i didn't know what to do with my life, so i went on a mission, decided to major in Spanish, become a teacher, and travel

...i majored in Spanish, lived in Spain for two months, traveled to portugal and italy, and then became a teacher... finally something accomplished! :)

...i was in the process of finding new plans and dreams and deciding what to do with my life... continue to travel, go back to school, get a PHD and become a famous Spanish linguist

...another was to move back to the island and take over dad's boat business so i could be a beach bum

...write a book

...marry for money :)

...and life has a way of getting in the way of all your plans... i met JJ, got married pretty fast, got pregnant pretty fast my hopes and dreams changed again... i still have them, but those things are definitely on the back burner for now. my biggest dream now is to somehow make enough money to be a stay at home mom and raise a few kids... teach those kids how to be productive human beings... to have real conversations (instead of texting or facebooking all the time like most kids these days)... to be talented, musical, athletic, intelligent

... oh... and i totally still want to be a beach bum :)

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Day 17-Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

I have been letting this simmer for about three days now and I still can't think of anyone! I know that I would never want to switch with a "celebrity" sort just because I know I would be SO annoyed with the attention... though the money would be nice.

Ok, I think that did it for me... I know! While it would be very tempting to switch with someone really rich so I could know what it feels like to not ever have to worry about how my bills are going to get paid... such as during my unpaid maternity leave...

I think I would rather switch places with someone that lives in "el campo de México"... someone like her...

That way I could speak Spanish all day, I would see what it was like to live off the land still, I would eat AMAZING food, and I would see a simple yet fulfilled life. Sometimes I feel like I "need" so much more than I actually do. I think an experience like that would really put things in perspective for me and make me more grateful for the wonderful life that I do have.

So that's that :)

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Day 16-Another picture of yourself

well, since I have not been able to sleep since 4 am per a potty break, a wiggly fetus, and gas (yes i said it... welcome to pregnancy) i have left my husband to peaceful slumber in the bed and am camped out on the couch... why not blog! :)

another picture of myself... if only i felt comfortable taking one right now, you would die laughing. you know how when you have short hair and sleep on it wet it looks really interesting in the morning? well mine is all kinds of delicious right now.

anyways, i think i will settle for this one...

i chose this one mainly because i really miss my sisters. we have never been away from eachother for extended periods of time (minus krista's and my missions) and i've now been in Arizona for almost 18 months. sure i have visited utah to see them and been home once, but it is NOT the same.

i also chose this picture because it was Christmas of 2007. We weren't sure if we were going to be together on Christmas the next year, so we made sure to take family pics. We did end up together for Christmas 2008, but then i went and got married. we didn't have the money to fly back last year, so we weren't together, and now with laela coming two weeks after christmas, there is again no way to be with my family. i am excited that my parents are coming out, and my sisters are coming down for laela's arrival. we are going to celebrate christmas (including a christmas dinner) and a new baby... it's ok that it's a couple weeks late. i just hope that next christmas we will be able to get the whole family together... including grandparents and JJ's side... down at the fort (that's what we call the grand's place in florida)

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Day 15-Put your ipod or shuffle on-first 10 songs that play

Must admit.... pretty darn excited about this post!


Here we go...

Song 1: WAY to start it off with a bang! Mariah Carey - "Someday" so, i might have used to pretend i could sing like her and hit those really high notes at the end of this song. but i could only do it if no one was looking at me so i would have to go into the hallway and belt it out since my parents would have my perform for people. um, i was a big nerd.

Song 2: "I Need Thee Every Hour" from the EFY We Believe album. love this song, love this album, love EFY, love God :)

Song 3: Britney Spears - "Can't Make You Love Me" from her "Oops" album. Ah, Britney at her best. I won't lie... I did go to her Circus tour, and it was pretty darn amazing... but mostly cause Pussycat Dolls opened for her, and they were awesome!

Song 4: Clay Aiken - "This is the Night" i will admit that i watched this season of Idol and totally was rooting for Mr. Clay. I mean, dude has some pipes! It's a great song too.

Song 5: it is "Track 10" and i have about 15 of them... i know it's India.Arie, and I love her, but I have no clue what the title is! :) it's a great slow jam though... :)

Song 6: Josh Groban "Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring" dude can sing, and puts out great albums. love it!

Song 7: Timbaland "2 Man Show" this is a song that features Elton John, and it's pretty awesome. i am convinced that everything Timbaland touches turns to gold.

Song 8: 3 Doors Down "When I'm Gone" i might be a hip hop girl at heart, but i do love a good rock song as well... especially because i really like 3 doors down

Song 9: "When all is said and done" the men's version from an EFY album. i am not sure which one it is, but i love all the tight harmonies in this song, and the words are pretty darn great

Song 10: Brandy "Long Distance" i kinda love that this song came up next. i heard this song when i was dating JJ long distance and became a bit obsessed with it. it just talks about how hard long distance relationships are and how you would so much rather be with that person but you are stuck where you are for awhile. very fitting, and it was one of those songs i could put on when i was feeling sad and missing him.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Day 14-A picture of you and your family

this is my family at the temple before JJ and i got married... yep, we took all our pictures before because we didn't get married until like 9 pm. :) from left to right we have my sisters (kaycie and krista), my mom's mom (affectionately known as grandma q), my parents, me and JJ, JJ's nana, brother (jeremy), and cousins (cheryl and arthur).

love my family and can't wait to live closer! :)

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Day 13-A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

So, i have decided that it is nearly impossible for me to blog every day, so i'm just going to go with it, and when i have time i will do another post... that way you won't get so sick of me from reading something EVERY DAY! haha

so this post is kinda hard to even start... i'm going to let it marinate a little and then come back to it...


so i have decided that this is virtuously impossible for me to write... A) because it's a little too personal for a blog, and B) anyone who knows me knows that i usually keep this sort of thing inside... so we will leave it there. :) there definitely is someone i would like to write this letter to, but i would rather talk to them personally instead of broadcasting it all over my blog.

most of my life i have been pretty passive aggressive when it comes to confrontation, which is something i am trying to work on... ask my hubby. :) when we have disagreements i usually will dance around what is really bothering me and say things i really don't mean to get a reaction. he tells me all the time to just tell him what's really wrong so he can fix it. men are the world's worst mind readers! :)

so as for this letter... instead of putting it up for everyone else to read, i shall write it to this person instead.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Day 12-How you found out about blogger and why you have one

this will be short, and probably boring. it's been a long and busy week, and i'm tired. i discovered blogger after my mission because my sisters both had blogs. i held out for awhile because i was trying to rebel against the influx of technology, but alas... i broke down. :) i had one blog for over a year, but got tired of that one, so i started this one. to be honest, i don't know why i have one. i have no angle, i am no julie/julia, pioneer woman, or nienie... but i guess i have something to say sometimes, and this is a forum to say it. it makes me feel good that friends and family follow the blog and are interested in those things i have to say. :) maybe one day i can be a pioneer woman and make millions off my blog... anything is possible right? :)

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

WHOA, i'm behind! Days 9, 10, and 11!

So I have had some very busy days at work, hence the no blogging while at work... and then when I get home, I am so tuckered out that the blog is the last thing on my mind. They don't pay me enough for what I've been doing lately! What do I do besides blog you may be thinking? Well I am creating an elementary Spanish curriculum for 6 different grade levels... it's fun... not really, but I do love my job and am grateful to have it. ANYWAYS...

Day 9-Something you're proud of in the past few days
Well something I am VERY proud of is that i CHOPPED my hair off today! It was really scary, especially when she put my hair in a pony tail and then hacked it off. I have to be completely honest. I am a little obsessed with the kardashian sisters, and I L-O-V-E their hair. I also love that I have two sisters as well, and that we all had long beautiful hair. Isn't that so funny/weird that that was keeping me from cutting my hair?! I didn't want to be the only sister with short hair, and I didn't want to be "that" pregnant lady/new mom that cuts her hair because she just can't handle it. But... I couldn't. I only ever did my hair on Sunday mornings, and even then not very often. I either went to school with wet curly hair or wet hair up in a bun with a headband... real attractive. So then as I thought about it more I realized that the kardashian sisters have a slew of stylists that do their hair for them every day, and it was ok to be "that" pregnant lady. I needed a change, and I needed something easy to take care of. besides... it's freakin adorable!

Day 10-Songs you listen to when you're bored, happy, sad, mad, hyped

um, this is kinda hard to be honest... the older i get, the less music i listen to. wow... i sound like a grandma! haha

bored - if i'm bored and want to listen to music i will probably try to get un-bored, so i'll usually put on something really fun like a musical... read "wicked" or "legally blond"... and belt it out
happy - if i'm happy i love to listen to some good "girl" music like sara bareilles, kelly clarkson, or colbie callait
sad - my new favorite song is "i look to you" by whitney houston, sang by mercedes on GLEE. it is seriously gorgeous, the vocals are hot, and the message is just what you need to hear when you are feeling down... there is always someone there who will understand and give you strength.
mad - i'm a little obsessed with chris brown's "deuces" which is an angry song to begin with. the beat is angry, the lyrics are angry... basically it's pretty darn hot
hyped - um... i don't think ive been hyped any time recently, so i have no idea what i would listen to. probably just something with a good beat to keep you hyped

Day 11-Another picture of you and your friends

this is jules, joshy, and i at my wedding. it was pretty much the BEST WEEK EVER! just ask them, they'll tell you! :) basically, my parents love them as much as me (my dad might even like julie a tad bit more than me! haha... it's cause she's pretty darn funny) and they have an open invitation at my house whether i am there or not... seriously... my mom even invited josh to live at my house if he got this internship he wanted with marriott... and they told jules to come stay with them for spring break. i have great friends. :)

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Day 8-Short term goals for this month and when you'll accomplish them

Goals, Goals, Goals... wow this one is going to be a little tough...

1. i need to get my hospital bag packed. i had a dream the other night that my water broke and we had absolutely nothing ready to go. i will do this by the end of the week.

2. we need to tour the two hospitals that we are thinking about delivering at. i will make the phone calls to set up the tours tomorrow.

3. i need have my lessons planned and at least have originals that i can just copy through christmas break. this will give me the time that i need to plan for my maternity leave. i would like this to happen by the beginning of december

those are my goals, we shall see what happens!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Day 7-A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

at first i thought this was going to be hard, and then i realized just how easy this task was going to be for me...

my husband

i love being married.... and i especially love being married to HIM. it is such a challenge sometimes... if you know us, you know we fight a lot... we are in a fight as i write this actually... over something stupid of course, but we are both too prideful right now to do anything about it. we will work it out though... we always do.

marriage has taught me a lot about myself. i thought i had learned a lot on my mission, but that doesn't even come close! JJ helps me be a better person. i was talking to krista the other day and she told me she was proud of me because she has seen me become a lot less selfish. this says a lot because i am the self-proclaimed most selfish person that i know... well knew i guess, because i wouldn't say that anymore. sure i am still selfish, but i try to think of JJ before myself. i try really hard to put my dishes in the dishwasher... i try to plan... i try to pick my clothes up... i try not to be too all over the place. in essence i am trying so hard to do the things that i know are important to him, and while i try to do those things for him, they become important to me and i begin to do them for myself.

JJ is such a good man, and i am so blessed to have found him. it seems that in our separate lives we always chose to take the hard road, and sometimes it seems that we still do. we are in no way, shape, or form ready for this baby, but we put it into the Lord's hands and apparently He thought we were ready. JJ is going to be such a good father, and i know i can always count on him. not a day goes by that i don't think about how much i love him... even when we fight. :)

Friday, November 19, 2010

Day 6-Favorite super hero and why

My most favorite super hero of all time is SHE-RA, Princess of Power. why, you ask? well, because she is AWESOME. i might have had a HUGE crush on He-Man, her twin brother, so of course i would love his sister's show even better... since it was all about girl power. i also love it because she changed from bad to good. she was kidnapped as a baby and brought up to believe she was a general in the evil army fighting against the Great Rebellion. He-Man finds out who she is, turns her to the good side, and she then joins the Great Rebellion to fight against evil... whoa... lots of gospel analogies to be made there. :) Anyways, She-Ra is my favorite, and that is why! :)

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Day 5-A picture of somewhere you've been to

Don't worry... i'm blogging at work... why you might ask? well, because i am planned and copied for the next week since i was at work until 6:30 last night. tonight i will be here until 7:00, so i have lots of time. i'm hoping to get planned and copied through Christmas so that i can focus on planning my lessons for my long term sub during maternity leave. oh, and i have to make a curriculum binder as well outlining what the students in each grade should know their first year of Spanish... um, remember how i make it up like every day? we'll see how that turns out...

anyways, a picture of somewhere i have been... wow. i haven't been a lot of places, but i have been to a few very cool places... haiti, puerto rico, st. thomas, bahamas, mexico, spain, portugal, italy, and quite a few places in the country. i haven't been to south america or canada yet, but i have a friend in canada who i would LOVE to go visit. :) hopefully that can be planned soon.

so the place i chose was.... drumroll please... SPAIN!

i mainly chose spain because not only am i now obsessed with the country and want to go back, but that is where julie and i became besties. we knew we wanted to be roommates about two minutes into our first intro class because we were the only two girls in our group that spoke fluent spanish, were over the age of 19, and returned missionaries. it was love at first sight. :) we got close with a few others, but not to the point that jules and i are. we might have taken pictures in just about anything that resembled a tub and was roped off... we also might have discovered that i have an aversion to all things public transportation... not only because of the crazies, but because i will fall down basically aboard anything that moves... think busses and trains... we're cool... love her...

here i am outside the prado (the famous art museum in madrid). madrid is gorgeous. there is this park smack in the middle of the city... think central park but more beautiful and peaceful.

and here is my favorite place in all of spain... la alhambra in granada. granada was the last muslim stronghold to fall to isabella and ferdinand in 1492 in the reconquista. it is massive and peaceful, and we might have gotten "lost" from our group just so we could take a few extra minutes and watch the sunset from a bench at the top on the palace. i couldn't bring myself to leave. it was gorgeous, it smelled of roses, and all we could hear were the birds and running water. i can't wait to go back someday!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Day 4-A habit that you wish you didn't have

What do you do after work while still waiting for your husband to come pick you up? I blog. :)

Anyways, a habit i wish i didn't have... this is hard... i have a few, but right now i wish that i could actually bring myself to put my clothes away when i take them off instead of dropping them next to my bed. it's so annoying to have to pick up and put away a week's worth of clothing because it takes like ten minutes! plus, stuff is wrinkled that you don't want to be wrinkled. i wish i could be like my hubby who "only likes to handle things once" as he tells me all the time. he walks in from work, goes to the closet, hangs up what needs to be hung up, and puts in the laundry what is dirty....

*sigh* to be so motivated

with me, it's run into house... run to bathroom 'cause baby is jumping on bladder... walk to bedroom... take off work clothes... drop on floor... pick sweat pants and t-shirt up off of floor... put on...

so that is my habit i am going to work on... PUT MY CLOTHES AWAY! :)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Day 3-A picture of you and your friends

so this was hard because i have so many different pictures with friends, so i decided to go with the most recent. we went to utah in october to see family and friends, and also so that my sisters could throw me a baby shower. thanks chicas! :) so here we go...

this is a picture at said baby shower (note i do NOT look pregnant... i swear she's in there, and boy is my belly getting huge!) with my dear friends desiree and kendra. i was kinda adopted into their circle of friends my junior year of college when i got back from my mission. i obviously couldn't live with my bestie joshua ross blade (since he is a boy) so i got to live with another of our friends, deveney. through dev and josh i met our amazing circle of friends, who have slowly moved away, married each other, married others, started families, and got into the mormon tabernacle choir! (that's des) :) whenever we are in town we have "family reunions" as i like to call them, and we are all as close as ever. i will always miss my junior and senior year when life was a bit more simple... when we talked about being EFY counselors... when kendra rubbed a cat on her face to make her then fiance mad cause he is allergic to cats... when we all had roommate issues (there is always that one ya know?)... terrorizing waitresses at cracker barrel... when we played mario cart for hours on end (maybe even during a stake conference or two... or was that mario party?)... when we all had enough money to shop and eat out whenever we wanted... before big girl life. :) ah the nostalgia!

so that is my picture explanation... see you tomorrow! :)

Monday, November 15, 2010

Day 2-The meaning behind your Blog name

Ok, so here we go... day 2... i really don't think i have actually blogged two days in a row... ever...

anyways, here is the deal. i had decided that i was going to have this blog that i would "dish" about really anything... especially the scandalous... hence the name "dirty laundry."

however, i became a teacher. you really have to be careful what you put out there when anyone can stumble across what you have written. (maybe i should go private, but not that many people read it anyways, so it will stay public for the time being)

so, i know many of you have been waiting patiently for some "dirty laundry" to be aired, but it will probably stay pretty tame... specially with my little laela coming. i gotta be a proper mommy right?! :)

i should probably change it actually. one of the cooks i used to work with in my food and beverage days used to call me "karly fries," which i loved... maybe that will be the new one... someday. :)

thanks for reading! :)

Sunday, November 14, 2010

30 days of blogging

I am stealing this from little sis, Kaycie, who stole it from our friend Kjell. I really need to blog more and keep everyone updated more on the baby, so this is one way for me to get into the habit of blogging better and more. So here is the 30 Day Challenge! Here's how it goes:

Each day of the month, write a blog post according to these guidelines below:

Day 1-Recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 2-The meaning behind your Blog name
Day 3-A picture of you and your friends
Day 4-A habit that you wish you didn't have
Day 5-A picture of somewhere you've been to
Day 6-Favorite super hero and why
Day 7-A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 8-Short term goals for this month and when you'll accomplish them
Day 9-Something you're proud of in the past few days
Day 10-Songs you listen to when you're bored, happy, sad, mad, hyped
Day 11-Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12-How you found out about blogger and why you have one
Day 13-A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14-'A picture of you and your family
Day 15-Put your ipod or shuffle on-first 10 songs that play
Day 16-Another picture of yourself
Day 17-Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18-Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19-Nicknames you have and why you have them
Day 20-Someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future
Day 21-A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22-What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23-Something you crave for a lot
Day 24-A letter to your parents
Day 25-What I would find in your bag
Day 26-What do you think about your friends
Day 27-Why you are doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28-A picture of you from last year and now-how have you changed?
Day 29-In this past month, what have you learned?
Day 30-Your favorite song

So.... here is day 1: a recent picture and 15 random/interesting facts

(this picture was taken be older sis, Krista, who is pretty much amazing! they were supposed to be maternity pictures, but i was still SO small. i was trying to push that belly out so much, but i didn't have much success)

1: i used to be a state ranked swimmer, and could have gone to college on a scholarship or maybe even further, but quit because of a horrible coach. sad right?
2: i have a secret crush on max hall (quarterback at BYU and picked up by the cardinals as an undrafted free agent). don't tell his wife or my husband. :)
3: i have a 100 ton master's captain's license... this qualifies me to operate power boats up to 100 tons of weight, which is usually between 80 - 100 feet long.
4: though i possess said license, the largest boat i have ever been captain of (solo) is my 39 foot, 5 ton crabbing boat. :)
5: i am beyond OBSESSED with salt and vinegar potato chips
6: my favorite drink ever is chocolate milk
7: this is kinda gross, but i am a booger factory... my family tells me i have an overabundance. apparently my nose likes to clean itself out
8: i have become quite the football connoisseur. JJ and i watch almost every college and pro game on television, and i love it!
9. my husband is a 6'2" black, straight, mormon, figure skater... love it... quite the anomaly
10. i have a tendency to have best friends that look a lot like me (kristin - growing up, julie - college, and amber - post college) it's kinda funny. i'll have to post some pictures some time
11. i am too smart for my own good. i scored a 28 on my ACT without any preparation or calculator. i scored a 31 the second time. it's a nice skill to have, but it sometimes makes me lazy because i remember that i don't have to study very hard.
12. the older i become the more conservative politically i become.
13. i always thought by the time i was 30 that i would have been married for at least 6 or 7 years with about 2 or 3 kids... here i am... almost 30, married for a year with my first on the way.
14. i never feel completely comfortable away from my family. i am always terribly homesick
15. i LOVE furry, cuddly animals... maybe even more than people.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

all my single ladies...

remember that saturday night live? LOVED it! :) speaking of justin... he was on ellen the other day, and i got so excited because it's about time for a new album from that boy, but no such luck... he was on promoting his movie. i really hope he releases an album soon cause i can only listen to sexy back so many times. :)

anyways, that is so not what this post was supposed to be about. my hubby left me this morning for ten days! that's about how long it took me to get used to being away from him and calm down this summer... so basically i will be a mess until he gets back. it's not so bad during the day because i only get to see him for a couple hours at night anyways, but those couple hours are going to be lonely... not to mention sleeping by myself. it's really hard especially now that i'm pregnant. Laela has started kicking me a lot at night, and i get really restless because i can't find a comfortable position without crushing her... so basically i'm never comfortable. usually all it takes is JJ reaching over and rubbing my belly to calm her down and my back to calm me down. i foresee very little sleep in my immediate future.

so i am a single lady for the next ten days, so anyone that would like to distract me is welcome too. it just hit me this morning about 9:30 and i got very sad. we might get on each other's nerves sometimes when we are always together, but it's miserable when we are apart. he was so adorable last night. he made sure that all the laundry was done, all the dishes were done and put away, and he purified and filled up all our water jugs so hopefully i won't have to.

i love my hubby and can't wait for him to get back!

Friday, September 10, 2010

school day blues

so i have decided that the stretch from labor day to fall break is probably the longest, hardest stretch of the school year. at least in arizona we have fall break, which is seriously a week long God send, because it used to be the stretch between labor day and thanksgiving that was unbearable... at least now it's broken up with a week off. anyways, this is the stretch where the days are long, the kids are squirrley, at least five kids in each class forgot their homework and want to tell you a five minute story about why, and i'm just tired. the freshness and excitement have worn off, and i'm TIRED!

don't get me wrong, i L-O-V-E my job, and the students. it makes those blues go away when you walk down the hall and you hear a chorus of "¡hola señora barksdale!" followed by a very loud, lone voice that says with such fervor, "i love you señora barksdale." oh gosh, let me tell you how much fun i am having especially with kindergarten! at first they were the bane of my existence because it is seriously like herding kittens...

...but i LOVE them now! it is seriously SO much fun. we are learning a new song right now called the "body cha cha." we sing it like three times in a row because they love it so much. after every time, there is this one little girl, cutest thing ever with bright blue eyes and long blond hair, and not much taller than 2 feet who says, "that is too much fun!"

so my job is really fun, but i definitely look forward to the weekend and days off. laela has popped out and she is getting bigger, so of course my tummy feels heavier, and by the end of the day my hips are aching. plus, i am feeling so overwhelmed with getting ready for her arrival. not only do we have to save enough money for me to stay home for a couple months (i don't have paid maternity leave), we need to buy stuff for her, and still pay our bills. we are doing well right now... thank you tithing... so i'm not too worried. it's stressful though, and on top of that i have to have my entire curriculum mapped out for the time i am gone. bleh!

so that's life right now... stressed to the max, but SO excited for this little one to make her way into the world. if only the mosquito bite on the back of my ankle would stop itching... :)

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

blast from the past

ok, so i L-O-V-E facebook right now. i met this little lady my freshman year of college... sofia. i am absolutely not kidding you when i seriously thought about naming the baby sofia because of her.... she doesn't know this yet, so this will be news to her too. what is awesome about this story is that sofia and i probably haven't spoken for about seven years or so. she met joe our sophomore year and they were married junior year... then i went off on my mission and we lost touch. thank heavens for facebook because she friended me just yesterday, and we've pretty much caught up. i mean obviously we left out some details, but i still feel like we are as good of friends as we ever were.

we were interesting BYU coeds... not your typical run of the mill mormon girls, and we had a large group of girlfriends that were the same. we were a little rough around the edges, but good girls (for the most part) :) but oh, did we have some fun! all my pictures of us are in south carolina in a bin, and oh how i wish i had some to put up because they are hilarious, but that's for another place and time.

i just wanted to share my exciting news, because... well... i'm so excited about it! sofia taught me that it was ok to be a little different... that it was ok to stand out from the crowd... that being a little different in shape, in size, in color, in beliefs, in attitude, etc. was what made us beautiful and worth something special. she taught me to love myself no matter what... and my favorite thing about sofia... she taught me to always tell someone "bless you" when they sneeze! haha, and no i am not kidding. whether they were someone we knew or a complete stranger across the quad on campus, sofia would always bless someone when they sneezed. it always elicited a "thank you" and a smile. example... JJ and I were at the diamond backs game on Monday night. a teenage boy sitting a row up and about six seats down sneezed. i looked back and said, "bless you." he, a little surprised, smiled and said, "thank you." i then proceeded to tell JJ about my old friend sofia that always used to do that... little did i know that when i got home that night i would find a friend request from none other than sofia.

our Father in Heaven works in mysterious ways, and i can only believe that He brought her back into my life to teach me something else... whether it comes from something good or bad remains to be seen, but i know that she will always help me see the silver lining, because that is sofia... always happy to be alive.

love you girl! :)

Friday, August 13, 2010

daddy's little girl

my daddy had a birthday on july 21.... he turned 54. see, i can tell you that because he still looks like he's in his 40s. both my parents do for that matter... which i think is why people still don't think i'm over the age of 23 or 24. we just look young, which is fantastic for getting older... so i'm told. :) of course, i did have a student tell me today that i had a white hair... but that's another story! :)

anyways, this is my daddy. he and i have always had a special bond. i was his "boy." haha, meaning i was the one who was interested in sports, and i was the one who was interested in continuing the family boat legacy. i am sure that he was a little disappointed that i didn't share his passion for music like the other girls, i know i have done many things in my life to make him proud of me as well.
i mean, don't get me wrong... i love music, and i will always regret my decision to quit piano lessons, but i am grateful for my life... it was great. i was quite the little pistol though, and when my dad told me to go "assume the position" (the spanking position) i knew he meant business. we had a great time when i was a kid... playing catch, playing horsey, putting on concerts and shows, and we had the same favorite cat, muffin... what a great cat.
as i grew up i became much more mature and quit being so much of a pistol.... HAHA, yeah right! i probably got worse, but there my dad was through it all. the one thing that i can actually bring myself to say now that i'm older, is that my dad was ALWAYS right! i would always ask for advice, and he would give it freely, and then i would usually disregard it. most of my "lessons" (translate hard times) in my life have come because i didn't listen to my wise daddy. i know i will probably tell that to my kids, but they won't believe me... just like i didn't believe my parents... but it's true! :)
my dad is my hero. he has been there for me through thick and thin... always supported me no matter the decision i made. he tries to be a big, tough man but he is the biggest teddy bear around. he loves his girls (mom included) and i know he will be the best granddad around to my sweet baby. she will adore him just like i adore him and my granddad. i can't wait :)

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

daddy dearest...

so my daddy had a birthday and i haven't had a chance to do a b-day blog for him yet... but it's coming soon! i needed to get through my last week home, my anniversary, getting back to az, and get settled in... so it's coming to a blog near you soon... :)

Sunday, July 18, 2010

wow... i never thought i would feel so inspired watching mtv. i stumbled across a new show they are piloting this summer called "if you really knew me." apparently there is this program that travels across the nation and goes to high schools and jr. high schools giving a "challenge day." i watched a preview episode on because it doesn't air until tuesday night. it explored the lives of different students from different "cliques" and showed their journey through challenge day. it really gets the kids to open up and allow each other to truly know them and think twice the next time they want to pick on them. it was AMAZING! i don't want to go through all the details because i really want you to watch it and get the full effect, but this program (challenge day and the show) is truly life changing. i hope that challenge day makes it to every high school in the nation because kids need it. people truly begin to believe the label given to them in high school, and sometimes can never outgrow it. bullying, racism, and sarcasm are why kids kill themselves sometimes and so many problems could be eradicated if we were just nicer to each other. anyways, just thought i would throw that out there. watch and be changed.

Friday, July 16, 2010

the world as a twin sister...

if you haven't read this book... you must repent and go to the store this moment!

it is my most favorite book EVER... and that is saying a lot because i am a freak of nature that will destroy a 900 page book in one day (ask my family... or julie)

it is set in south carolina (so of course i loved it even before i cracked it open), and it is the story of a young girl in search of the truth about her mother's life and death. if you saw the movie, read the book anyways because it is a gajillion times better.

anyways, i have been thinking about this book a lot lately... in particular one of the supporting characters... may. this is what wikipedia has to say about her character

"May Boatwright: the sister of August and June Boatwright. Had a twin sister who died when she was younger, she is abnormally sensitive and caring, and has somewhat of a childlike nature about her. Whenever she is upset she sings "Oh, Susanna" and also built a "wailing wall" in the backyard where her sisters send her when she starts getting too upset. She is highly sensitive to pain of others and the world in general, carries the weight of the world in her soul."

and here is a little tidbit from the synopsis...

"The other sister, May, is a bit unusual and does not seem to be able to cope with sadness. Lily finds out that May had a twin sister, April, who died when they were younger. Even before she died, May always experienced the same feelings as April. 'When April died, something in May died too... It seemed like the world itself became May's twin sister.'"

the reason that i have been thinking about this lately, and more particularly about May, is that a lot has been going on lately, and i've really just been keeping it all cooped up inside. sometimes i wish i had a "wailing wall" like may had so that i could write a note, say a prayer, do some crying and carrying on, and then have it be all better. I completely empathize with may and how sensitive she was to the emotions of others. one look at someone's face and i can usually tell what they are feeling, just as one look at my face can tell you what i am feeling (good or bad!)

"I have noticed that if you look carefully at people's eyes the first five seconds they look at you, the truth of their feelings will shine through for just an instant before it flickers away."
Sue Monk Kidd (The Secret Life of Bees)

this week was a bit tough, starting with last weekend. i went down to florida to see my grandparents. grandma q (mom's mom) had a big surgery a few weeks ago and is still recouping, and grandma sally (dad's mom) had a stroke memorial day weekend... which leaves granddad at home by himself taking care of things... i have never once in my life seen or heard my granddad cry until this happened. the moment i walked in that nursing home and saw my busy as a bee grandma sitting in a wheel chair, i had to work so hard to keep it together... she however, did not. i haven't seen her for a year since i was living so far away, and i hate that. i grew up with her down the street and i miss those times. i miss sunday dinners... i miss back to school shopping trips... i miss her crying as she plays the piano for us to sing... i miss being a child when the world didn't quite weigh so heavily.

"It is the peculiar nature of the world to go on spinning no matter what sort of heartbreak is happening."
Sue Monk Kidd (The Secret Life of Bees)

the next two days were spent with grandma and granddad, either at the house or the nursing home. i cleaned and did laundry for granddad, and i worked with grandma and her motor skills. as i left her at the dinner table and walked away i felt a rush of emotion and couldn't hold the tears any longer. seconds before, i had witnessed a miracle. my eighty year old granddad, who is one of the tallest people that i know, leaned awkwardly down and kissed his "sweetheart" as he calls her now. then he said, "i love you," and she said it back. they hadn't done or said that in over fifty years before this "tragedy" happened. grandma, who is generally a pretty negative person, has stated more than once that this might just be a blessing in disguise because of how it has strengthened her relationship with my granddad, and brought our family together. but the thing that really got me was how she responded to me. both grandma and granddad kept saying how i was the most tender of us three girls, and had the biggest heart... now that's not to say that my sisters aren't caring, but i feel things in a different way, and i am just starting to realize that and try to deal with it.

"In a weird way I must have loved my little collection of hurts and wounds. They provided me with some real nice sympathy, with the feeling I was exceptional...What a special case I was."
Sue Monk Kidd (The Secret Life of Bees)

i feel things deeply... they affect me differently than they would others... death and sickness especially. in college a friend was killed in a car accident on his way back to utah after his little sister's birthday... i cried like a baby for hours even though i had only known him a relatively short time. a few months ago one of my sister's best friends died after a long battle with cancer... i was affected for days even though she was krista's friend. a dear family friend was tragically killed this past monday, and i haven't let myself start to grieve yet because i know it's going to be painful. i cry when i see cats or dogs that have been hit by cars, i cry when i watch animal cops or whale wars because i can physically feel the pain those animals are in, i cry when my grandma gets frustrated when she can't put something in the trash because her body isn't cooperating with her brain.

"women made the best beekeepers 'cause they have a special ability built into them to love creatures that sting."
Sue Monk Kidd (The Secret Life of Bees)

WHY? why was i blessed/cursed with this big heart? i can see the blessing because it allows me to feel deep emotions such as joy, but it also makes me feel sadness beyond what others feel. it allows me to be empathetic towards others, but it also makes me not only understand their pain but share it. it allows me to form strong bonds and connections with those around me, but at times it makes me feel all alone in a room full of people.

one of my goals this year is to answer that question... to really pray and ask heavenly father why this heart is something he felt i needed to have. what work does he have for me to do that requires me to feel so deeply... maybe it is being a wife and mother... maybe it is something else... that is what i want to know.

"Honeybees depend not only on physical contact with the colony, but also require it's social companionship and support. Isolate a honeybee from her sisters and she will soon die."
Sue Monk Kidd (The Secret Life of Bees)

i know it is frustrating at times for my parents and my husband and my sisters... i am UBER-sensitive, but i think it is because i LOVE them so deeply that i don't understand why they don't love me back exactly the same. my brain and my heart work differently than others and i think part of this journey will be learning to accept that.

"The truth is, in order to heal we need to tell our stories and have them witnessed...The story itself becomes a vessel that holds us up, that sustains, that allows us to order our jumbled experiences into meaning.
As I told my stories of fear, awakening, struggle, and transformation and had them received, heard, and validated by other women, I found healing.
I also needed to hear other women's stories in order to see and embrace my own. Sometimes another woman's story becomes a mirror that shows me a self I haven't seen before. When I listen to her tell it, her experience quickens and clarifies my own. Her questions rouse mine. Her conflicts illumine my conflicts. Her resolutions call forth my hope. Her strengths summon my strengths. All of this can happen even when our stories and our lives are very different."

Sue Monk Kidd (The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A Woman's Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine)

I hope this wasn't too "heavy" and you made it through ok. i know i put on a happy face most of the time, but i have a lot inside. i hope that you are ok going on this journey with me, and if not, i understand... this is mostly self discovery anyways... but if you take the journey with me to find that hurt that is deep inside and root it out, there is sweet golden honey at the end...

"It's your time to live, don't mess it up."
Sue Monk Kidd (The Secret Life of Bees)

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

ooooooooh, yes please!

so the other night, i had a rough pregnant night... if i have those sometimes now, i don't even want to think about when i'm like seven months... oof

anyways, my dear friend maille told me i needed to get a snoogle.... at first i thought maybe she misspelled snuggie, but then i remembered that maille is smarter than i am, and she NEVER misspells ANYTHING (she's a writer), so i googled it.

UM, YES PLEASE! (if you forgot my birthday in february, or would like to take care of the pregnant lady, i will totally take charity) haha :)

this simply looks like heaven, and they say it's great for feedings in the middle of the night once the baby is here as well. it's kinda pricey, but i'm definitely going to order one for when i get back to arizona. i am SO excited! thanks maille! :)

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

more than tired...

so this baby is killing me! my doctor said it best when she said it would suck the life right out of me.... it's true. i used to be able to do 5 crabbing trips a day, and now i'm dead after 3! i used to be a night owl, and now i'm a bear after 10 pm. (dad said he never thought he would see the day when he stayed up later than me.)

i love it though... even though it's super stressful and VERY expensive ($750 for the doc to look "up there"... are you KIDDING ME?), i am so excited about this little life inside me. sometimes i am scared that we jumped in a little too soon... before we got our own feet underneath us, but how can i not be grateful that heavenly father is giving me my biggest dream of all???!!!

anyways, nothing much... just some musings from the pregnant lady

more to come... :)

Thursday, June 24, 2010

a little secret :)

so we have some news....

and here it is...

about 11 weeks along... due date of January 11 (which is grandma sally's b-day)... and mom and baby are doing great...

more to come! :)

Saturday, June 12, 2010

sweet home south carolina


they should really make a song about that... oh wait, James Taylor did, and i love him forever for it. i am home sweet home in south carolina for a couple months to help out on the boats. i love going out on the water every day... telling people about this magical place... seeing dolphins (and their babies)... playing with pesky little crabs.

this place is in my heart.... it's in my soul.... it's in my blood

Thursday, June 3, 2010

arizona drivers


excuse me sir, why would you give me the finger when i was here first? why do you have more right to this spot of the freeway than i do? why do you ride my tail when i am in the right lane of the freeway going the speed limit... why not just pass me like a normal person instead of telling me to get out of your way?

excuse me ma'am, why would you rather run me off the road than let me merge? why would you pull in front of me when there is no one behind me? (especially since if i did the same thing, you would ride my bumper, wave your hands at me, and call me all sorts of dirty names?)

i never thought i would find meaner drivers than utah drivers... i was wrong... it must be the heat makes people cranky...

Sunday, May 23, 2010

picking bones...


i have a few bones to pick, but i don't want to bog you down with too many at once so we will do one at a time. here we go...

bone #1: health care

dear mr. president, at first i thought maybe... just maybe... this was a good idea. i have friends from canada that told me how affordable health care is up there. however, they then told me that the health care is second to that here in the united states, and that they come here to get most procedures done. then i started hearing how much money it was going to cost us (taxpayers) for you to have your sweet health care bill, and i got even more upset. please allow me to give you a simple lesson in economics...

raise taxes = more people lose jobs because business owners cannot afford to have many employees, demand goes down because people don't have any money to spend, and thus we fall even deeper into a depression than we already are. oh and you can thank your friends the clintons for the housing crisis... probably not such a good idea to meddle in our open and free market and tell bankers to lend to those with lower income and lower credit scores... because what happens when the economy goes sour and people get laid off? oh yeah... they walk away from their responsibilities

lower taxes = more money floating around in the market, more jobs because businesses can afford to hire people, and demand thus supply goes up... therefore pulling us out of the depression that we are in... it's not that hard to wrap your head around

now that your economics lesson is over, here is my advice... if you are going to insist upon killing us with more taxes than we already pay, why not pour the money into something worthwhile... like, say, education. that way we can teach the rising generation to get a good education in order to get a good job that can provide them with healthcare... or let's just do it your way, teaching everyone to walk around with their hands out waiting for someone else to do it for them. let's teach them the value of good, hard work to get ahead, instead of instilling even further the "entitlement" mindset that everyone has these days.

stay tuned for:
arizona drivers
glenn beck haters
the makers of 8: the mormon proposition
those in opposition to SB 1070

disclaimer: this is not in any way meant to offend anyone. we are all entitled to our opinions. if you disagree, i respect your constitutional right to do so, and i expect the same in return. that is the beauty of our constitution... if that even means anything anymore.