Sunday, December 20, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
i quit my job...
i realized that i had to do what was best for everyone. i absolutely did not want to be at work every day, which was detrimental to myself and the students. to be a teacher you need to be ON 100% of the time, and i was unable to do that. these students are especially needy, and i just didn't have enough of me to go around. i will certainly miss some of them, but overall i am very happy with my decision.
so what will i do now?
i got a job as a full time/bilingual teller for wachovia. there is lots of opportunity for advancement in the banking industry, and i am excited for the new challenge. i am definitely going to keep working on my certification for teaching out here, and hopefully i will be able to get a job next school year either in gilbert or chandler. we shall see. i am just taking one day at a time.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Johnathan and Karly... love at first click...
Karly's side :)
Yep, it's true... internet dating actually works sometimes! :) JJ and I were both registered on a dating website (whose site shall remain nameless since they aren't paying royalties.. haha), he took one look at me and couldn't resist! He sent me an email sometime in May 2008. He made some weird captain joke (since that's what I do in the summer) so I thought he was a little weird, but hey... a good lookin guy like that... i was still interested. We kept in touch a little bit over the summer, exchanging a few emails here and there. We were both a little preoccupied... I was moving to Texas, he was moving to Arizona... so nothing really happened then. Once we were both settled in our respective new homes, I remembered that we had left things pretty unfinished, so I sent him a little note just to say hi... which he ignored! Can you believe it??? A week went by, and I decided to send one last note... to which he responded. :) He asked for my phone number... again... he had "lost" it... likely story right? ;) Anyways, he called me that night around 11 pm, and we ended up talking until around 4 in the morning... remember how Karly has a big girl job now and had to be at work at 8? Needless to say I was super tired, but glowing. Everyone at work commented on how happy I looked. I told them about this new guy... this tall, good looking, mormon, black, straight ice skating coach... they didn't believe me on the details first! We texted all day, and started talking on the phone two or three times a day. We talked about everything... everything! I knew within the first three weeks that I was falling in love with him and that this was the man I wanted to spend eternity with.
We decided to meet in person up in Utah... neutral ground. I was sure things would go great, but just in case, we both needed an exit strategy. It was really funny because a couple weeks before we were going to Utah, I was totally looking online at engagement rings... of course I didn't tell this to JJ though, I mean I didn't want to freak the boy out! The very next day he called me and told me he had a confession to make... he had been looking at rings online! I started laughing and confessed, and thus commenced the engagement ring search. Now I know what you are all thinking... that it was before we had even met, but I think I can speak for both of us when I say that meeting in person was just the last piece of the puzzle. We already had fallen in love mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and with Facebook JJ had seen me at my best and worst (aka mission pics! haha). I got to Utah the day before him and painstakingly picked out a new outfit (with the help of a good friend... you know who you are) to dazzle JJ. I was so nervous, but the outfit must have worked because as soon as he saw me, his face broke into a huge smile, he walked right over, and without any hesitation, pulled me into his arms. He hugged me for a minute and then kissed me... that's another long story, but we will keep that one to ourselves. :)
That was it... I was hooked! We started planning the wedding that weekend! I even found a dress! My parents were a little skeptical, but he had passed the sister and best friend test that weekend we were in Utah. I promised we would take things slow and be very careful, which we have. We even moved the wedding back a couple months so we would have a little bit more time. I am the happiest girl around. I had always heard that "when you know, you know," but I never thought it was true... but I was wrong... so very wrong. I knew that this man would love and cherish me forever. He treats me with a respect I never knew was possible... I mean I saw it in other people's relationships, but I always picked real winners that made me feel less than. Not with JJ! His favorite activity is making me blush with the nice things he says, and I know that this is only the beginning of a wonderful, amazing life together. :)
Johnathan's take on things
Karly is right...internet did play a very important role in helping us find each other!!! Thanks goodness for the internet and technology....haha:) I was willing to search any and everywhere for that special woman to share my life with! When I initially met Karly online I had no idea how much this amazing woman had to offer!
I planned to move to AZ at the end of the summer (2008) and pursue my coaching career. I bought a motorcycle for the trip and had plans to visit Karly and other friends if time permitted while on my journey. Being that I was short on time I didn't even have time to call to say hello.
Ok, once in AZ, Karly & I reconnected. The first time Karly sent me a message, I didn't reply. You know how it is when you move to a new city always working and trying to get your business up and running! That was me, working 2 jobs and not really making time for anyone. Karly contacted me again and from the moment I replied there was something about her voice, her essence, her sense of purpose in life that I identified with. Let's just say we seem to always take the road less traveled...we like to do what we like when we like...haha. We talked and texted a lot until the time we first met in Utah. I grew more and more curious about this woman that I had gotten to know though our phone conversations and text messages. Nov. 22, 2008, I'll never forget!! That is the day it all became a reality!! The moment I saw her big beautiful smile I wanted to sweep this southern bell off her feet!! I knew that I would do anything to let her know how much I thought of her!! I felt like the luckiest guy in the airport that day!!
Once we met we were off on our first date!! I bet you want details, eh? :) I'll just say this...every guy should hope to have the kind of first date I had...haha! We started it off with two must haves for any guy…football and italian food! Karly did her homework on me and I knew I had better have my act together. We went sightseeing, dancing, to church, you name it we did it!! I had never before shared so much of my life with someone in less than 24hrs and had so much fun doing it. This is the definition of speed dating! ☺ As our first weekend together started to wind down I realized that I could never get enough of Karly and her lovely personality! And yes in case you were wondering…her body in one word...HOT!! I wanted to see her again as soon as possible!!
We were on the same page as to take things slowly, but there was a lot of excitement between us. We knew that we did not want to take more time than was reasonable to take our relationship to the next level. This meant me asking her parents first for her hand in marriage. Call me old, but that is how I was raised and Karly is so special to me that I would do it old school just to make her happy! Oh yeah, gotta have a ring! This is another long story that you'll have to ask Karly about:) I'm sure she'll tell you all about it!!!
Meeting Karly was the last piece to the puzzle or should I say the start of something really special that we all dream about. I never could have planned for or lives to come together this way, but the Lord always has a hand in all the miracles we receive! Karly is so right when she says "I will cherish and love her forever". My grandparents had 59 yrs of bliss and that is what I intend to give Karly! I'm so thankful for our families and friends in our lives that have helped us define who we are and were with us through our struggles and our achievements! I want you all to know because of you and your love for our well being we will forever love you! I love my angel, better known as Karly, I'm so blessed to have her in my life! Sweetie, I love you! And I can't wait to marry you!
Maid of Honor
Krista and I are 23 months apart... not 24... so I have always been trying to catch up. Between February 12 and March 4 I was only one year younger instead of two! It was always a great three weeks. Krista has been one of my greatest examples. She was the oldest, thus making her mama bear #2. She paved the way for her sisters... and boy was it an uphill climb! :) She set that bar so high, and sometimes I didn't want to try. When I switched schools I thought I had a chance at my own identity... I wouldn't be "Krista's sister" anymore... then Krista switched schools too! We were "the Maurer girls." She graduated from BYU, she went on a mission, she started her career... all things I have done also, and I hope I did them half as well as she did. One day she told me something that totally changed the way I felt about our relationship. She told me I was her hero... she said that no matter how far I sink into that hole I have dug for myself (I have a hard time with wanting to learn lessons the hard way), that I never stop fighting to get out... I am always clawing my way to the surface... I am a survivor. Now one of the sweetest things I can hear is "Oh, you're Krista's sister," and I love it! One of the greatest lessons that Krista has taught me is to be independent... to forge my own identity... and I have... though I will never stop being "a Maurer girl," because that is my favorite identity of all.
Maid of Honor
Kaycie was, as I used to call her, our accident. I mean honestly, for six years we had this little family made up of Daddy, Momma, Krista, and myself. It was perfect... or so I thought, because when this new little creature came along six years later I wanted nothing to do with her. The thing I remember most about the day she was born is that someone curled my hair and I HATED it! I was sitting in the little kitchen area of my kindergarten class crying about it when Krista ran in and told me we had a new baby sister... I think it made me cry harder. For six years I had been the baby, and I just knew I would be forgotten. The day she came home from the hospital I refused to go with dad and Krista to get her, because I just HAD to go roller-skating with my friends. She was a cute baby, and I think I even liked her for a while... but then she started to grow up, and boy was I cruel to her. I hit her, I made fun of her, I don't think there was a day that went by without me telling her that I hated her. There were moments of kindness... mostly when I wanted something from her or wanted to play with her toys... hence being caught on video saying, "Kaycie, I'm having a tea party without you!" However, just as most things fade with time, so did those feelings of hatred. Kaycie helped me get my life back on track... she saved me from myself... she completes all of us. I didn't know it as a child, but I can speak for all of us when I say that our little family wasn't perfect before she came along... we were missing something, and Kaycie was that missing link. Kaycie keeps me grounded. She is very rational (which I am not) and always helps me see both sides of the coin. I know that I am the big sister, but I look up to her, and always follow HER example. She is, and always will be, our Kaycie-baby.
From the beginning when "Jer" was born it has always been a surprise as to whether we were going to get along...haha. I was the only child for six years and let me tell you I had no idea what it meant to have a brother, nor did I know how different our experiences in life would be! Jer is very smart and he excels at almost everything - except ice skating which he briefly tried and decided that it was not for him.
Growing up, we were in different worlds, which made it hard for our mom since we usually didn't play well together. But, when Jeremy graduated from high school, I'll never forget how happy our mother was and how proud of him I was also! That summer Jeremy came out to Cali where he was to relax before heading to college at NC A&T to receive his BA in Broadcast Production. We took a trip to Las Vegas and played hard for a few days! Having a younger brother became really fun! All those previous years when we argued seemed to disappear. Upon my return home from Cali, Jer and I lived together again and we had our ups and downs. I remember one night Jeremy went outside and turned off the power because I had the music playing too loud when he was trying to study! Jer went on to graduate with honors and returned to school to pursue his masters degree!! He is currently working toward his PhD at Virgina Tech.
My brother has been a blessing in my life even though we lived apart the majority of time. I'm so grateful for his example and couldn't imagine my life without him!!
So I totally thought I was going to have to pull a "Made of Honor" and make Josh one of my attendants, but my fabulous fiancé said he could be a groomsman. Josh and I have been best friends now for almost ten years. We met freshman year at BYU because he was in my ward... even though he wasn't a member of the church yet. We hung out all the time, and kept in touch through our tough times when I was on one side of the country and he was on the other. He joined the church, I went on my mission, and when I came back we were closer than ever. We even lived across the parking lot from eachother so we wouldn't have to go very far to hang out that first year. I have even broken up with a boyfriend for my friendship with Josh. Sorry buddy, but if you ask me to choose between my boyfriend of two months, and my best friend of 10 years... did you honestly think I would choose you? :) So when JJ expressed an interest in getting to know Josh and being friends with him too, I knew he was the man for me! Josh has taught me a lot of things, but one that sticks with me the most is to feel good about myself. He would always get upset with me when I put myself down, and if a boy ever treated me with less respect than he thought I deserved, he made sure to tell me to get out of that relationship. It's been a decade of ups and downs, but one thing that has remained constant is knowing that I always had a best friend in Josh.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
count them, 80 hours, a week.
I am in TEXAS this week for class. Other than wanting to tear my hair out from sitting through the most pointless and boring trainings of my life, it feels good to be in my cute house with my cute roommates.
In exactly one week from tonight I will be Mrs. Johnathan Barksdale. I cannot wait.
He is the love of my life and I can't wait to be with him FOREVER! :)
random mom: hey do you know what this does? (it was a webkin) someone gave it to me for my daughter. (weird because the baby is like two months old max)
brother: oh yeah! (goes into a detailed explanation of what it is-->apparently an online pet that you take care of) you might want to save it for her when she's older because i think she might now understand (said in all seriousness about a two month old baby)
sister: i have 28 of them, i LOVE them!
brother: i used to like them, but now that i'm 11 i'm kinda over them... it's like a younger boy/girl thing.
next and MOST favorite part of the conversation
random mom: we are going out to phoenix so that (insert baby's name here) can meet her aunt pam and uncle allen.
sister: hey! we have an uncle allen!
brother: yeah but my parents are like hiding him right now because he should be in jail.
random mom: yeah you probably shouldn't tell people that
a little bit later...
brother: i got suspended from school once for cheating on a test
random mom: oh you shouldn't do that. you don't want to end up like your uncle allen.
brother: i hate my uncle allen. he has six kids and he tortured all of them.
random mom: yeah that's another thing you might not want to tell people.
pretty much the best plane ride of my life!
twenty minutes later, we pass that little red honda fit... why did we pass them?
THEY WERE PULLED OVER!
aaaahhhhh, that is what i call sweet vindication
So, you know how people are jerks on the freeway sometimes... they speed past you... they cut you off... they zip in and out of the lanes... and you just think to yourself, "where are the cops when you need them?" well just that kind of thing happened the other day. I was merging onto the freeway in utah (where they will run you off the road instead of letting you merge anyways), and this little red honda fit zipped around me on the right side (between me and the concrete) and sped on their merry way. JJ and I both commented on how we wished a cop had been there right then.
twenty minutes later, we pass that little red honda fit... why did we pass them?
THEY WERE PULLED OVER!
aaaahhhhh, that is what i call sweet vindication
So let me tell you a little bit about Keira... she is an adorable little girl in my first period class. She is hot and cold... some days she is just ON and gets it, does her work, gets really good grades, and then other days she puts her head down, won't talk to anyone, refuses to do her work, and gets bad grades. I thought she hated me the first week of school because I moved her away from her cousins because they were talking. One day when she was walking out of the classroom, I smiled at her and she smiled back. I grabbed her and planted a big fat kiss on her forehead and from then on she was mine. She comes and sees me during the day just to get hugs... it's so sad that these kids just don't really get that much affection at home. She's had some rough times lately but apparently I made it on "the list." She shared this with me today and it just about broke my heart... she is definitely one that I am going to miss next year...
now, don't get me wrong... my kids keep me young and hip... i say things like, "sorry to put you on blast like that," "not too much on so and so," "that's throwed," and "that's ya bidness (business)." i bought some nike forces, i love hip hop music, and i know the names of all the popular dances right now... however, that doesn't mean that i still think that i'm 18.
i now need a full 8 hours of sleep... the friday afternoon let-down leaves me glued to the couch pretty much all evening... i have no desire to go clubbing... i am appalled by the lack of respect that my students show their elders... i hate the song "college" that's on the radio right now because of how inappropriate it is... let's face it, i'm just gettin old!
(please don't forget that i am going to the britney spears concert in nine days... that gives me some "young" points right?)
oh and p.s. we now have a home gym so i will actually start working out now... i got a wedding to get hot for!
Let me back up and tell you about Alvon... who is the most important person in my life (yes, besides all the obvious other important people). Alvon is 15 and a sophomore at Rudder High. He comes from a very difficult home life, no parent involvement in his academics, struggles with his grades, etc. Alvon was my best little buddy. I "adopted" him, and boy was I out to save the world. I talked with all his teachers, made sure he was passing, brought him McDonald's when he stayed late to make up a history test, went to all his basketball games... he was my baby... and the reason I came to College Station. That one little boy made all the shit (excuse my french) that I deal with on a daily basis worth it. He made it worth it to get out of bed in the morning, because I knew at least one of my students would be really happy to see me. He would come to my class in the morning, at lunch, after school, and whenever he could get a chance in between. I saw him change, I saw him start caring about school after a conversation we had about him going out to phoenix for college after he graduated in two years... I knew I was making a difference.
Last Wednesday everything changed. Another student picked Alvon's pen up off the floor where he had dropped it on accident, and proceeded to lend it to someone else. When Alvon saw that it was his pen, he said something about it, and a verbal altercation ensued. I did my best to avoid a bad situation, and it even escalated to where I had to kick the other kid out of class. I knew it was Alvon's pen, but I couldn't call the other kid a liar in front of everyone else, so I just took said pen, and gave everyone new pens... everyone's a winner right? WRONG! I have NO idea what happened, but somewhere along the way, Alvon got mad at me, and hasn't spoken to me except when absolutely necessary since. I have cried every single day, I have tried to talk to him, I got the other student changed to the other Spanish I class, I even tried to give him back his stupid pen, but everywhere is a dead end. I know he is hurting as well.... his other teachers have commented that he is more withdrawn, though more diligent in his work, which is a good thing i guess... but it still hurts more than anything i have ever experienced.
so, although i love my job most days, it also sucks because it is more than a job. my heart and soul have been poured into these kids, and my heart gets broken every single day... but it was ok, because there was this shining star helping me make it through, and as of now that star is gone. i can only hope and pray that time will heal this wound for both of us and that we can regain some semblance of what we had, but who knows... maybe he will never forgive me. if he doesn't i can only hope that he continues to be successful and become the man i know he can be, because no matter how he treats me, i still love him with a love that could rival any mother's, and i will always want what is best for him...
-You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10
-No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10
2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10
3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8
4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8
5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10
6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
-When they're rich..
-- Pam, age 7
-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7
-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- - Howard, age 8
7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child )
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is .........
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck . -- Ricky, age 10
-------------are like apples----------------
--------on trees. The best ones-------------
------are at the top of the tree.-------------
----The boys dont want to reach------------
----for the good ones because they ----------
--are afraid of falling and getting hurt.--------
Instead, they just get the rotten apples-------
-from the ground that aren't as good, -----
but easy. So the apples at the top think-------
-something is wrong with them, when in------
--reality, they're amazing. They just----------
----have to wait for the right boy to-----------
----- come along, the one who's-------------
--------- brave enough to----------------
------------ ---the way------------------
---------------to the top-----------------
----------- ---of the tree.-----------------
it's all about the dreaded p-word... that's right folks, patience. and it's toughest on the grown-ups, so the rest of us, who just refuse to grow up have to remind them not to settle, but have faith and confidence that they really are the apple at the top of the tree, and someone worthy of them is actually gonna come along and pick them.
I am so blessed :)
2. they dance the duggy in class
3. they say, "miss, here go my paper"
4. they say, "see... what had happened was..." and then give me some really lame excuse of why they didn't do their work
5. they talk about me in other teachers' classes
6. they want to hang out in my room before and after school
7. they get really excited when i bring them something... even if it's something like a pencil
8. they say, "wow miss, you must really love us!" and they know that i do
9. they teach me their secret hand shakes
10. they call me the "throwedest" (ghetto talk for coolest) teacher in class
11. they call me a big kid
12. one of them walks two hallways out of her way between third and fouth period just to give me a hug... every day
13. when i miss a day of school they say, "miss, where was you at yesterday?"
14. one of them waits outside my classroom every morning and lights up when he sees me... then he asks me five times a day if i'm going to his basketball game... then pretends like he doesn't care, but i know he wants me there
15. for some of them, mine is the only class they are passing
16. they are all up in my personal business
17. they actually behave when i don't feel well
18. they like coming to spanish class
19. they make beats all class period
20. they love me :)
the beginning of my mission was really hard. i had NO idea what i was in for. i hated the work, i hated the area, i was sick... the only bright spot was my trainer that told me it was ok to cry... so cry i did! :) my dad sent me a letter when i was a few weeks into the field basically telling me to suck it up, but he said something that has stuck with me ever since. he quoted heber j. grant who said that when we are presented with a difficult task, we work at it until we can accomplish it. this doesn't mean that the task at hand becomes any easier, but rather that our capacity to accomplish it has grown.
i pulled it together, and served a great mission, just like i pulled it together and became a great teacher. i don't say that i'm a great teacher because my kids are actually learning spanish... because they aren't... but that's not what i'm worried about. i am worried about them eating dinner... i am worried about them coming to school every day... i am worried about them getting hurt in a fight... i am worried about how much pot they smoke and how much alcohol they drink... i am worried about them getting pregnant... i am worried about them not making it through high school. have you ever seen the movie "freedom writers?" those are my kids... not on such an extreme scale, but they have that same defeated attitude about school and life. i make sure my athletes do their work because they have to pass. if they don't pass, they don't play, and what else do they have to come to school for? what else do they have to try for?
i say i am have become a great teacher because of how absolutely i am smitten by these kids. some teachers can come to school at 8, go home at 4, and not think about the kids at all... i however, cannot. i think about them constantly, and i don't get to leave school at 4 because my room is full of kids until around 6. we eat, we play games, we listen to music, we have so much fun. my life has meaning because i bring meaning to them. i know that some are indifferent, but for others.... for myself... i am saving the world. i am going to start posting some of the fantastic things my kids do so that others can fall in love with them too.
marianne williamson said that when we become liberated from our fear, that we automatically liberate others and give them permission to do the same. i feel like this is the same for our potential. now, by no means have i reached my full potential, but every day i show up and love my kids, i get one step closer. as i reach for my own potential every day i give my kids permission to do the same. i absolutely do NOT care if they learn spanish... i just want them to know how much i love them and how much i believe in them... they can make it, just like i made it, but they have to make the choice. man i love my job :)