Sunday, April 8, 2012

Welcome

Hello! Welcome to my new blog. I'm so glad you stopped by and hope you will follow me on my journey to become a better me.

I have done a lot of thinking the last few days and have realized that I am depressed. I have struggled with depression a lot in my life for various reasons, which will not be delved into in such a public forum, but most recently I fell back into depression after Laela was born... PPD (post-partum depression)... which was also accompanied by a strong case of PPA (post-partum anxiety). These two illnesses have been affecting my life the past year and I really want to get a handle on them.

I am also going through quite a trial right now... a trail that I wouldn't wish on anyone. This trial is incredibly draining emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, and physically.

My trail, accompanied by my PPD and PPA have made for a long and exhausting year, but I need to make some changes. I don't play with Laela or enjoy my days with her to their fullest. I don't take pride in my work anymore. I haven't been keeping in touch with my family and close friends. I haven't been taking care of my body, inside or out. I haven't been taking care of my home. And, probably the most important, I haven't been taking care of my spirit.

I have decided to take myself on a journey to find that JOY that is spoken of in the scriptures. Heavenly Father tells us repeatedly to test him, to allow him to prove to us that he keeps his promises... and that is exactly what I am going to do.

I do not have a plan, which I know I need to develop, but it's coming along in my head. I will share it as it evolves. What I do know is that I am going to desperately try to start new and positive habits which in turn will not only make me a better person, but will lift me from my depression and allow me to find JOY... JOY even in the midst of trial.

This coming week my goal is to make sure that I read my scriptures at least ten minutes every day, and work out at least 4 times. I will be sure to check in and report my progress. Not only is this to keep me accountable to those (whoever you may be) that will be following my journey, but also so that I may have a journal of my struggles and triumphs. I want Laela to be able to read this one day and see that no matter what happens in life, that there is always a way back UP... there is always a way to find JOY.

8 comments:

  1. good for you, kar! I'm so glad to hear that you are going to work through this. Anything I can do to help, you just name it...but mostly, I'll start by sending some prayers your way. I love you, friend

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  2. Love you, precious friend. I am so proud of you! I am here for you as well!

    Love,
    Lane

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  3. I'm proud of you and am here to help you/support you in any way I can. Love you sister. More than you know.

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  4. I wish you health and joy and while I know there will be bumps and hills and valleys, lean on those who love you. We can carry you when you can't walk alone. It is a privilege to love you like one of my own.

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  5. I sure love this. Change is good for the soul. And hard! But if it were easy,our successes wouldn't be nearly as satisfying! I am so glad we will get to know each other better once I get to Arizona!. You seem like my kind of girl :)
    Brittany Call (last name just in case you are wondering who in the heck this is)

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  6. Karl-
    You know that I love you to the frickin moon and back...scratch that Pluto (because it's further). You are an amazing person with an incredible spirit. Wherever that spirit has laid dormant it will surely come alive with all of your hard work and effort. This blog saddens me to read because I never want to see you sad or in pain. You are an INCREDIBLE person, mother and wife and you should be reminded of that every day! I am ALWAYS here for you no matter what you need. I can be Lae's babysitter, I can be your chef, I can be your workout buddy, I can be your motivator, I can be a shoulder to lean on. You deserve nothing but the ultimate and I know you... you won't stop until you've reached it! I love you!

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  7. Kar, I love you and I'm proud of you for being brave enough to share this with us and to make a change. That is so hard and takes courage. You are loved by me and so many others, and especially God. If there is anything I can do to support you more/better, please let me know. I love you!

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  8. I really admire your courage; I always have! I hope you find Joy in your journey...and lots of other great things! Always here...xo

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